We agreed upon a purchase price for the as-is-where-is-money-pit-of-a-farm from, as it turned out, an eccentric grifter. This was Spring 2012.

What we hadn’t fully anticipated was Grifter’s à la carte approach to the arrangement.

“Ahhh look, if ya wanna farm, yeah, ya gonna need a tractor. Ahhh look, there’s one over there, yeah. See it? It’s for sale… Ya might want the bed former too”

Attachments extra.

“Ahhh look. If ya wanna farm garlic, cause it’s a garlic farm, then ya gonna need garlic seed, yeah? Takes about 3000 pounds I reckon. I got some of that. You can have it for… $12.00 a pound.”

Got to get that shit in writing.

We had to endure these protracted negotiations for a time as we idiotically agreed to let Grifter squat on the property until their exit plans came to term.

I’ll give you an exit.

And so it went.